I woke up this morning, April 1, and suddenly realized that I am totally sick and tired of being mindful. I am also sick and tired of sentient beings. I mean there’s just so many of them, and they have so many damn problems. I decided that I should follow my heart, or at least follow $$$$ signs, and so I’m opening a casino. Maybe Vegas, maybe on some Native American reservation. I think slots are my favorite game, but I also enjoy roulette and blackjack. Anyways, so long suckers. I’m sick of the Dharma, sick of Buddhism, sick of mindfulness, sick of enlightened society ,sick of trying to live well, sick of trying to benefit myself and others. I am out of here. I hope you will all come to my casino, where the odds will always be in the house’s favor, and fund my retirement someplace warm, where nobody has to be present at all.